One day while walking down the street, a highly successful executive woman was hit by a bus, and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter. "Welcome to heaven, " he said. "Before you get settled in, though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had an executive make it this far, and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in, " said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, " replied St. Peter, "but I have a higher order. What we're going to do is let you have a day in hell and a day in heaven, and then you can choose whichever place you want to spend eternity."
"Actually, I think I've already made up my mind, " said the woman. "I prefer to stay in heaven."
"Sorry, I have my orders." And with that, St. Peter put the executive in an elevator, and it went down, down, down to hell.
The doors opened, and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club, and standing in front of her were all her friends -- fellow executives that she had worked with -- and they were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks, and they talked about old times.
They played an excellent round of golf, and at night they went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the devil, who was actually a really nice guy, and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that, before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everyone shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up, and up, and opened at the pearly gates where she found St. Peter waiting for her. "Now it is time for you to spend a day in heaven, " he said.
So, she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds, and playing a harp, and singing. She had a great time, and before she knew it, her 24 hours were up.
St. Peter came to get her, and said, "So, you've spent a day in hell and a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity."
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this -- I mean -- heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in hell.
So, St. Peter escorted her to the elevator, and again she went down, down, down -- back to hell. When the doors of the elevator opened, she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends, who were dressed in filthy rags, picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand, " stammered the woman. "Yesterday when I was here there was a golf course, and a country club, and we ate steak and lobster, and we danced, and I had a great time. Now, all I see is a wasteland of garbage, and all my friends look miserable! "
The devil looked at her, smiled, and said, "Yesterday, we were recruiting you; today, you're staff."
That was great!! Enjoyed that very much! LOL Thank you for the laugh!
LuvsWesterns
Oct 11, 2018
Glad you enjoyed it, Honeybeez. Every once in awhile I run across an old joke we used to share in emails, before the internet, and I post it. A little long, but worth it.
Good morning to all puzzlers and C4J staff. That was easier than I thought it would be. I must have about a dozen pair of scissors with orange handles all around the house and I never seem to find one when I need one. The scissors I use for sewing and fabrics I keep separate so they stay sharp. Hate dull ones when I try to cut fabrics. Everyone stay safe.
I too have several orange handled scissors. Min are made by fiskars. I fid they are hard to keep sharp. When they start detting dull they do not cut too well
God morning elijah13. Looks like we are the only two on here this morning. Hope everyone is doing okay.
nhoward
Oct 10, 2018
Good Morning elijah13 and mamag15! I hope both of you, and everyone else, has a splendid day. Elijah13, that is a great quote and one we are losing sight of in our daily lives. Blessings!!
Tomandray sent you a JL not on the 10th.
One day while walking down the street, a highly successful executive woman was hit by a bus, and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter. "Welcome to heaven, " he said. "Before you get settled in, though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had an executive make it this far, and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in, " said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, " replied St. Peter, "but I have a higher order. What we're going to do is let you have a day in hell and a day in heaven, and then you can choose whichever place you want to spend eternity."
"Actually, I think I've already made up my mind, " said the woman. "I prefer to stay in heaven."
"Sorry, I have my orders." And with that, St. Peter put the executive in an elevator, and it went down, down, down to hell.
The doors opened, and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club, and standing in front of her were all her friends -- fellow executives that she had worked with -- and they were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks, and they talked about old times.
They played an excellent round of golf, and at night they went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the devil, who was actually a really nice guy, and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that, before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everyone shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up, and up, and opened at the pearly gates where she found St. Peter waiting for her. "Now it is time for you to spend a day in heaven, " he said.
So, she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds, and playing a harp, and singing. She had a great time, and before she knew it, her 24 hours were up.
St. Peter came to get her, and said, "So, you've spent a day in hell and a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity."
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this -- I mean -- heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in hell.
So, St. Peter escorted her to the elevator, and again she went down, down, down -- back to hell. When the doors of the elevator opened, she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends, who were dressed in filthy rags, picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand, " stammered the woman. "Yesterday when I was here there was a golf course, and a country club, and we ate steak and lobster, and we danced, and I had a great time. Now, all I see is a wasteland of garbage, and all my friends look miserable! "
The devil looked at her, smiled, and said, "Yesterday, we were recruiting you; today, you're staff."
God bless you all. He can sew your tattered dreams into a beautiful new quilt. Same material, new purpose.
"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted". Aesop